1. |
Stormier Seas, Pt. 1
01:06
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"you were my crew," the sailor said
"now go and traverse your own oceans;
these are good seas, but i have heard that
those ahead will get stormier."
i bet you still kick the wall when you're sleeping
bet you still think everyone's up to something
so maybe, we're not so different from when this began
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2. |
Stormier Seas, Pt. 2
04:34
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in my heart, through my skin
i feel your presence again
from my soul, to my brain
God forbid i look back since that day
the only ghost i ever saw was nothing like a ghost
and though i shied away from her, i wondered forever
if i was wrong
i'm no Jonathan Nolan, but i'm creating a new memento
to warn myself against everything that i've done
and i'm no Jane in a nursery, but i've got to get out of this room
i'm hiding in the walls behind frills and decorum
an orientation was more than enough to get Daniel O filling paper
so why is it taking me such a long time to get
words down when so much is happening?
my crew is sailing away, my crew is sailing away
dear mom, i'm sailing away, and nothing can be done now
my sailors are sailing away, which i always knew they would do
but in the grand scheme it was supposed to be with me
with me!
my mother and my brother are arguing again
i think it seems like my fault just because i can't fix it
when i shouted at you, i realized things of myself
i think that i'm more tired than i acknowledge
i have to get out of here
i have to get out of here
i'm doing something wrong; i should have left last year
since my crew is sailing away, my crew is sailing away
dear dad, i'm sailing away, and i bet you'll encourage it
my sailors are sailing away, just as i must now do
the only problem is they're going separate ways
separate ways!
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3. |
Dragged Out to Sea
09:15
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i didn't realize until you had just left
that this would be the last time i saw you until the break began
i should have just given you a hug or something
but what could that have done to make things easier for us?
our generation's unique, we're the first ones to have grown up
learning the new tech, talking more on VOIP apps
but distance is a factor, it seems to me no matter
how hard people try, it pulls relationships apart
but there's no need to work at it, i will try too hard anyway
despite our strongest efforts, we probably will drift away
i've seen it time and time again, even when we both want to stay
together, things get pulled apart, but i'll resist that anyway
i rest my head on the car seat on my way home
knowing you'll find more friends while i'll just feel alone
you'll find somebody like you with my sense of humor
they say April's the cruelest month, but it's September
i wish you would just stay here; i wish things stayed the same
i wish we were still kids, with nothing on our plates
but now the tide's out and you were dragged out to sea
you have a lot to think on, don't worry for me
i will persist with you two, i'll keep things up and running
i'll call you on the weekends; constantly, consistently
i will not end this friendship, we'll play Dominion online
and D&D when you have a little extra time
i wish you would just stay here a little extra time
i hope things don't fall apart (again), we can keep up online
i wish you would just stay here a little extra time
i hope things don't just drift apart, but you never know until you
but you never know until you try
i need to get to sleep, but even when i try
it never gets too deep because of my rapid-moving eyes
i want to see you soon; please come down again
so i can throw away this song, and stop my wondering
i need to get to sleep, but even when i try
it never gets too deep because relaxing doesn't feel right
i want to see you soon; please confirm my suspicions
so i can throw away this song and learn to start again
sail back to me this winter, although you now live far away
your new friends, they can wait there; i'm selfish so i wish you'd stay
but nothing lasts forever; i should have thought that earlier
before the tide moved in and salty water made things blurrier
sail back again next summer; has that ocean become your home?
your new friends, they can wait there; i'm selfish and i feel alone
but nothing lasts forever; i always knew it was my fate
to wade through stormy weather, 'cause that's the kind that i create
i wish you would just stay here; i wish things stayed the same
i wish we were still kids, with nothing on our plates
but now the tide's out and you were dragged out to sea
you have a lot to think on, don't worry for me
i didn't realize until you had just left
that this would be the last time i saw you until the break began
go live your life, don't worry; i'll try to do the same
but things are different in oceans without names
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4. |
Teenage Something
05:53
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teenage heartache, borrowed from a scary movie
i took an aspirin, but it's not improving
i used to place a lot of value on my own dream interpretations
when the market crashed, i found myself forgetting them
what does this mean? (i don't know)
how are things going? (i don't know)
i keep asking what we should do, but you only say what we always do
and i don't mean to pry, but something's going on here
if we both try to let go of our pride
will i ever be lonely? can i ever be alone?
but if we both hold and decide we won't fold,
our ghosts will separate us; this will never be our home
i'd take the lead if i could, but i'm still paranoid
in everything i do
but i can hold your hand, and be a reassuring voice
hoping you can start what i can't
teenage romance between human and humanoid alien
"just smoke some weed", and it's still not improving
teenage disturbance; i used to disclose myself freely
but gradually i learned that people are assholes
how long has it been? (i don't know)
how are things going? (i don't know)
i keep asking what we should do, but you only say what we always do
and i don't mean to pry, but this is gonna fall apart if we leave it alone
so if we both try to let go of our pride
(i'd take the lead if i could)
will i ever be lonely? can i ever be alone?
(but i'm still terrified of everything we do)
but if we both hold and decide we won't fold,
(but i can hold your hand)
our ghosts will separate us; this will never be our home
(and be a reassuring voice, hoping you can start what i can't)
i'd take the lead if i could, but i'm still terrified
in everything we do
but i can hold your hand, and be a reassuring voice
hoping you can start what i can't
[monologue about stupid shit]
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5. |
Slow Down.
04:31
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i just need time to think
i write this from my bed, i'm supposed to be asleep
i don't have time to write a new song
so here's a bad guitar solo, with some shitty lyrics
when i die, skip that funeral bullshit
just remember me, don't say some shit that isn't true
and when i die, turn my body into energy
then this built up stress will be good for something
how can i expect to know what i want to do
without time to think on it?
engineer my whole world and remove all chances
of taking my time
slow down! (x3)
(that's not even slowing down, it's just the same thing in half-time)
when you die, you and i will be married forever
connected in one soul, and now one body
and when you die, i hope you bring some of your energy
as all of mine will have been consumed in the name of Learning
how can we expect to know what we want to be without
time to conversate?
engineer my whole world and remove all chances
of taking my time
slow down! (x4)
i just need time to think
i write this from my bed, i'm supposed to be asleep
i don't have time to exist outside of things that must be done
why don't we just live forever?
why don't we just live forever?
if we really love each other, we can go as slow as we want
what's the problem with living forever?
why don't we just live forever?
why don't we just live forever?
i just need time to think; we're really not that patient
but while we're at it, let's just live forever
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6. |
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as Eliot once said something like,
"true art has meaning before it's understood"
i didn't understand what the story meant,
but i knew it was something important
for a second we were having fun
and everything was normal again
but there i realized it's not, anymore
we're getting older, and i don't mean just physically
we can still be young at heart, but that doesn't change reality
i'm more sober than i've been for a long time
subconsciously i knew that we'd both have to grow up sometime
we'll keep getting older ... and die
double double-digits; approaching a fifth of a century
i don't think any of us yet know what we are doing
i'll still pretend that i'm usually in touch with my old friends
but even when i type a message, i'm not sure i'll hit send
we're getting older, and i don't mean just mentally
we can act like we're still young, but we're just out of touch
i'm more sober than i thought that i could be
as we all inch further apart, and further out to sea
but by the end --
by the end, will we make it to where we think we want to be?
by the end --
as we get older ... and die
the year grows older; Autumn is finally colder
how does time age nature so gracefully?
i'll try to access a little of that energy
before i too am sent to sea
but by the end --
by the end, will we have made it to where we want to be?
by the end --
as we get older ... and die
(but hey, it's alright
don't worry, because
tonight we'll sail away)
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7. |
2019
04:24
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2019 says "it's gonna be a better year," then says
"fuck you, get ready for another fling around the flaming ball of death"
i could walk through this house with my eyes closed
and nothing would change
i know the house so well, and no one uses their eyes anyway
it's not like anything from last year matters anymore
it's not like anything matters anymore at all
i didn't see any cops on New Year's Eve
they were probably all downtown driving drunk
they all said that they'd get sober by the time the new year rolled around
well, the new year can start tomorrow
new year doesn't mean new me;
you and i aren't that different than before
last year i said to myself, "it's figured out! i'll no longer be stressed!"
well, look where i am now
it's not like anything in this year will turn out different than last
it's not like anything has changed inherently at all
but the time has come to act like we're becoming new people
even though we all know we won't really change
my resolution is to say "fuck making new resolutions"
then maybe i'll get something important done, for once
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8. |
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hopeless romantic; i fall in love with everyone i meet
everyone i meet, everyone i
the whole world lit up when she stepped into the room
but there must have been motion-detector lights
hopeless analyst; i deconstruct everything that i feel
everything i feel, everything i
and in the silence, i learn to hate the sound of my own breath
and wish that i could stop it
but i know there are people out there who may not be here now
but still call me friend
and though they may be few in number, and sometimes far away
remember that they're there
it's hard to keep in mind
especially when there's no physical presence involved
but someone out there loves you
and since that's true, everything could turn out alright
teenage nothingness awaits the two of us from here on out
we can't live forever
and people may be assholes, but people are the best we've got
"isn't this where we came in?"
maybe it's time to stop leaning on every time i've failed
and instead find out what i can really do
maybe it's time to stop leaning on every time i've failed
and instead find out what i can really do
after all, what did anyone ever make that was good
without pouring in their faith and hopes and loves?
without ripping their chest open, holding their heart in their hand
and bearing their emotions and fears and souls for truth?
it's time to end this shit!
it's time to end this shit!
apparently, i can only complain
as adulthood begins, and teenage years draw to a close,
i slowly learn to get over it
we could never live forever, even if we wanted to
part of what makes life worthwhile is having to make choices
what's the point in planning for forever?
we could never live forever, who knows if we could love forever?
limits, here, add value to whatever we choose to do
there's no need to stay the same forever
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9. |
Captains
05:58
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we have nowhere to be, have nowhere to go
but to close the distance between ourselves
i have something for you, have something for me
but i cannot use yours, for i sold everything
without those boys, there was nothing i could do
nothing i could do, back then
but see i'm still around, and now i understand:
change isn't all bad. change isn't all bad.
when the tide went out, it seemed to me that this could be the end
but it wasn't yet, but it wasn't
when they came back, it turned out that i wasn't as dependent
on them, as i had thought
with constant change, i still will be myself, while bettering myself
sometimes alone, still bettering myself, or battering myself
we have somewhere to be, have somewhere to go
but we aren't sure yet where that place is
i took something from you, took something from me
mutual exchange, i will always keep it with me
last summer may have been my November
but things can still get better again
i used to be afraid to die; at least i'm not as afraid to live
we have somewhere to go, have somewhere to be
we're both better off than how we were before
i gave something to you, gave something to me
mutual gift-giving, you're forever a part of me
i didn't realize until, this was all over
that this was the last time things were the same
'cause now the tide's out, and you have set out to sea
and we're both captains now; take charge of your everything!
(and don't worry about me)
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10. |
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but at the end of all things, i'll wish you farewell
and you'll go on, even if i stay here
i'll sail away too, eventually
we'll make plans to see each other again
but whether we do is completely different
my sailors are sailing away, just as i must now do
the problem is, they're going separate ways
but now the tide's out and you were dragged out to sea
you have a lot to think on, don't worry for me
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Our Fastest Typist Austin, Texas
lo-fi indie rock multi-instrumentalist/artist; i sing what i can't use speech to explain. writing music helps me get through tough stuff sometimes. hopefully it can help some listeners do the same.
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